Posted on Apr 23rd, 2009by Amy Ramdass There are a few people I have run into on this very planet (Yeah, as if there are other planets I regularly traverse ;-) who have used their observational skills to improve the lives of all those who they love.
Actually, I can only speak for two people. Oh, heck...make that three but you know what, one story is enough to make my point.
The first human I speak of is the most compassionate, most nurturing, most protective, most caring being I have ever known and his story still makes me cry.
A few months after he was born, his mother suddenly wasn't her usual mental self, who knows, probably post-partum??? Anyway, ancient rumor has it that she started acting strangely and her extended family not understanding this kind of mental imbalance gave her a severe whipping even though she was an adult woman! Of course, the poor woman became physical ill as well and never recovered.
A few weeks later, her grieving husband also fell ill and died, leaving behind three little girls and two boys. (like, wtf???)
But alas, a portion of the extended family was there for the little souls in the form of their uncle and aunt who took the wee wittle ones under their wings. Wings that were already infected with kids of their own ;-(
I supposed uncle and aunty did a great enough job in raising these orphans with love which was there all right but was it pure, unconditional love? Hey, hard to say!!! Those were the days when people brought forth kids for slavery but since I wasn't there to witness any of it, I should really try to see the past the damages because I am positive great aunt and uncle did a better job than you and I would have done...
Anyway, the baby boy eventually grew up, got married, had a bunch of children of his own. He built himself a small paradise and proceeded to give that to those, what he never had.
And the point of this story is also this :- If there was ever one person who practiced what he preached, it was this guy.
He once told me that if I understood the ways of the universe, I would not even hurt an ant but sad to say, I ended up killing many ants, a whole army of red ants in fact...and *sniff* you would have done the same too if a whole army of angry, red ants were marching up your legs!!!
Oh but wait, I've observed and learned, I no longer go where no legs have gone before. So see?
If there was one person I know who never killed anything, it was probably this guy. I remember that one time when I saw with my very own eyes, a huge yellow -tail snake slithering up the stairs...and me (with my screaming head in my hands), ran into the house only to find another humonguous snake slithering up the inside stairs. Oh the horror of it all and you know what, this guy refused to kill the scary bastards. He said they were a pair...and that they were searching for each other and he let them off scot free!!!! (However, the good news is I never saw another yellow tail in my life ever again 'cept online ;-)
Stories of his compassion and caring abound. So much to write but I don't want to make this too long but just to say that there were probably times when this guy probably went hungry as a child, because he made sure it never happened to any of us and that number also included his drunken employees, pesky relatives and always-broke -customers....plus he was the only one who always remembered to feed the dogs, cats, cows, turkeys. Okay...I also helped to feed the rest of the animal farm as well !!!
But alas, in non-fiction, the best of heroes end up dying before the close of the book and this one died at the age of 54 leaving behind children who were still minors.
But hey...when a father hero has fallen, what???? Goat bit the daughter heroine????
So here is a lotus for you, Papa, a true earth god who never did anything bad, the greatest and sweetest father a child could ever have...
May your story continue to empower and inspire everyone who hears it? (And if it doesn't, then your daughter sucks at non-fiction;-)
I have a higher self? Hmm. Well, then, I guess, right now, at this precise moment, my higher self needs a divine breakfast but holy hour!!! Look at the freaking time!!! There must be a time thief in my midst!!!
Sigh. Hopefully, I'll make it in time for lunch becuz it's divine lunch that I really need!!!
Literally.
And you know how I know? Psst, my stomach just whispered it to me but in a very non divine way. "Grrrr." It said.
But I am presently ignoring voices of this kind because I hate eating alone on weekends. So here I am, waiting for my hubby (he's away taking care of his elderly father who has lost his memory for most things except eating to survive. Grrr. I really don't understand Nature at times, ...actually, I do, never mind my crazy, coffee thirsting mind, so lets move on....) Mmm. Coffee. Elixir for the soul. Mmm.
"So, hon." I asked my hubby one fine day while we were sipping coffee at Tim Hortons. "How come you love your father so much...I mean, wasn't he a tyrant to you when you were younger?"
"No, he wasn't!" My guy glares at me. Anyone present at Tim Hortons that morning would think I asked him to shoot his father, that I am a sort of misanthropic when it comes to other people's father!!! Some nerves of those Tim Horton's customers!!! Why, they don't even know me!!!!
Grrr. And why would I even think such a thing. I love my hubby's father, honestly I do. The man was just as caring as my father. Oh alright. Fine. I admit it. To a little girl, one father looked like a Dr. Jekyll and the other Mr. Hyde....but hey, even back then I could tell that both their hearts were just as big as the Sun... See?
So I tried again. (If you know me, I never give up with my curiosity and that's a disastrous thing, trust me.) So I continued. "Oh right...um...sorry if I spilled coffee on a sore nerve of yours...and oh, if you missed me, I am in my mind, busily mopping up." But actually, its donuts I am thinking about. Maybe I should have one after all. (I sniffed, totally miffed. Sheesh. Some people!!! You try to show them how totally sweet and caring they are and they just shoot you down then ask questions when it's far too late.)
Umm. However, whatever I said to make him open up, worked! He reached for my hands. "All parents were tyrants in some way or the other but if we hold grudges and don't use our compassionate side when others are in need, then aren't we the real Mr. Hydes?"
Oh. And wow. Wasn't I just thinking about Mr. Hyde? Okay, either my guy is a mind reader or I must have talked in my sleep. Cripes. What else did I rant about? Omg! I knew it. I knew it. So this is why he refused to budge from his beliefs that I was the one who backed over the garbage can (Although I came up with this amazing theory that only a garbage truck could have possibly flattened a can that flat.) so yes, I must have rambled in my sleep.
I looked at him and knew he spoke a truth. "I know." I said. "But I still think your love for your papa is genuine. I mean it takes a lot of compassion to change a grown person's diapers." My compassion draws the line here. I am sorry but I can't. I just can't. I absolutely refused to. I'd rather shoot myself. (Yike. Good thing my teacher pointed out to me that if I ever became a nurse, I'd have to...er...um...do the unthinkable.)
"You would do the same for another human being too." My hubby's voice pulls me back into my surroundings.
I gaped at him in horror. "Me?" I squeaked. Why, I'd puke a million times before I get the job done. And oh god, I'd rather die than see my parents naked!!! (I mean, there are times when I am very saddened my dad is dead. Well, er...um...this is not one of them.)
My guy smiles. "Yes, you."
I blanched. Why did he always have to make everything sound like it was the law. "What makes you so sure?"
He took his dear time sipping at his coffee and then, "If it was me suffering from Alzheimer, would you do for me what I am doing for my father."
And then it hits me. I am stunned by the realization actually. Wow. "Yes." I said and now I am totally sure of myself. Wow. I am amazed at myself in fact. "In fact, I'd do more than that for you." ( Well, umm, except that I won't be able to carry him up the stairs, he's is 195 to my 111 lbs of body weight... but hey, I'll be there for everything else... )
There was a scraping sound as he brought his chair closer to mine. He hugged me. "Thank you, baby."
And suddenly I was overcome with tears, sad tears for my father-in-law and also happy tears that he brought such an extraordinary child into this world...
SON AND FATHER
...a son who made me realized that we are capable of so much if we dare to put ourselves into each other's shoes and that we have the power to move each other into compassionate mode.......................make each other realize that we are all capable of falling into the same hole and that stopping to help someone up is what will make us stronger to help our own selves in future and also give us certain insight to avoid such pitfalls. (however, if I've ever fallen into a hole where there's no hope that I'll ever be able to help myself, somebody please, shoot me, put me out of my misery ;-)
So perhaps this is really what my higher self wants for me today, to truly practice doing onto others what I would have them do onto me or something divinely similar.
Er...however, lunch has been cancelled for now. Umm, why? Duh. Read above. Didn't I clearly state that it's not really food that my higher self needs? Yike. Now I will have to read above to make sure. Yike.
Okay, there is always dinner...but at the rate my stomach is retracting its non-divine 'grrs', I'll end up with a midnight snack ;-)
The farthest I have ever been on my own steam is probably three days. Mmm...three whole delicious, empowering days. Psst. Okay...make that two...becuz you see...I cheated on the last day.
However, since no one was any the wiser, lets call it three days in case the-Guinness longest-record-keeper-guys ever decide to ...er...um...ahem...record me.
My three-day-food-strike was not done to bring neighboring countries to their knees nor was it engineered to soften God for great crops and neither was it attempted for all the snakes of the forest to suddenly drop dead ......rather it was for a trifle more outrageous reason....my starvation spree was my brilliant strategy to keep my parents off my ‘book' case for good!
You see, they made the mistake of threatening to burn all my storybooks! Books that belong to the school library!
The nerves!!
You know, they would have gone insane if they had to raise kids in the x-box and you-tube age! (No wonder Life gave them x-small challenges, and one in the form of a daughter who was addicted to storybooks and nature....and oh yes, daydreaming;-)
I mean...where on my forehead was it written...okay...never mind my forehead...where in the commandment is it written that ‘thou shall not read too much'?
The blantant nerves!
First my parents brought me into this story-infested world,(against my will) fill my head up with Wynkyn and Blinkyn stories and then try to take the Nod part away from me...like what the heck???
And if you had parents like mine, you would see it the same way, trust me. And the way I saw it was that it was a drastic situation and there was no other way to reason with them except through drastic gandhi-like-starvation measures........
....Oh, fine, alright, I admit it!!! They were not ‘bad' parents but to a 10 year old, trust me, they were book-terminators in human habit!!!!
Anyway, since I hated cooked food in those days, the food-deprivation spree was easy-peasy....and psst, while I gave my parents the silent treatment, I hid under my bed and read all the same old, same old storybooks I had *borrowed* (another word for "keeps"...either that or leave the books at the mercy of the field mice;-) from my school library donated by the Ranfurly Library, a British service that donated new and used books to developing worlds...
God.I still find it hard to believe that my parents gave me everything except books ;-)
Sigh. Lack of material to read was not my only problem. I got blamed for every unsolved mystery.
There was this time when my house almost burned to the ground and yours truly got blamed all because when the cry of "fire, fire" hit the silence, instead of running towards the fire like my moths-to-doomsday siblings, she ran to the kitchen, filled a large bowl with water and ran up the stairs to rescue her books....
And mommy/daddy of course remembered this incident. Instead of applauding their daughter for her insight and bravery and trying to save her precious books, they put two and two together and came up with "carelessness."
Yes. "Carelessness." Go ahead and gasp if you need to...but they claimed that I left a lamp burning haphazardly....oh who knows...with the kind of imagination that possessed them, I bet they saw me reading under the bed with a night lamp....
The awful nerves!!!
Ya know!! There was this time when my mom gave away a whole third of my wardrobe to the needy folks without asking me!! So why was I upset about skirts and dresses if all I cared about was books? Hello!!! My books were hidden in that very same box of unwanted clothes!!!
God! I gave my mother the silent treatment for two whole days with plenty of poisonous glares in between, letting her know loud and clear that I put her right up there with field mice (bloody self-proclaimed paper shredders of Nature!!!)
...Ya think mother learned a lesson from my silent treatment?
Nope...she never did.
Ya think I learned from my experience? Er...yes....but my kids will demand to differ. You see, when they were younger, I kept on giving away their toys to the salvation people without asking their permission.
Oh for Elmo's sake!!! What's the point of asking them anyway, they would only say ‘no'!!!I mean which kid really know the true meaning of ‘clutter...' or the ‘joy of giving."???
Zero!!! That’s how many!!!
My kids are a lot older now but they still look at every ‘garbage bag' awaiting pick up with high suspicions....and there are even times ‘dejavu' happened for each time I tried to ship Elmo off for adoption, I got the feeling I had done this before (either Elmo jumped out of the sack or someone sneaked him back in the house when I wasn't looking ;-)
One item my kids get to keep for always....yes you guessed right....I cannot bear to part with any of their storybooks ;-)
Yours truly has truly run out of steam.... Amy :-)
Amy R.
